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pages home about/blogroll rating system review index 1001 100 favourite films sunday, july 8, 2018 a note on the past few years of not being here woo...where to even begin with this. hello hello, it is me - occasional tweeter, semi-aesthetic film instagrammer, and self-professed 'former film blogging child prodigy'. i've spent my sunday afternoon flicking through a few of my posts that i wrote on here before i abandoned it. i'm listening to lana del rey's 'born to die' album, which was the soundtrack to everything i wrote from september 2012 until the end of that year - i like to think that was the heyday of my blogging years, where i had so many lofty ambitions for what i could do with my passion for film and when taking a week away from the blog was akin to taking annual leave from an actual job. i'm feeling a little sad, a touch mad at myself for giving up on all of this...especially, when i was told in the aforementioned heyday of this blog that i would one day lose my passion for film and writing at some point in my life. anyone who knows me will know that i'm unusually stubborn - if i get told that my life will go in one direction, i'll do anything in my power to steer it in the other direction. i did, however, lose my passion for film and writing somewhere along the way. and that's why i abandoned all of this. it has been almost four years since i wrote my last post, an unusually strong review of the film predestination , which features that performance by sarah snook that i will always and forever contest as one of the best performances of this decade. in those last four years, i graduated with two degrees in media and communication. i got a scholarship to study for a semester in finland, which changed my life in the most unexpected ways. i've travelled to over 15 other countries, where i started a new passion: travel, but more specifically, travelling to sweden. i've become obsessed with high end makeup - when i was last on this blog, i used to only wear poorly colour matched and blended foundation, but now i spend a large chunk of my morning routine blending a smokey eye. i moved 3/4 of the way up the country after i graduated to give myself better job opportunities, but they took a little while to come (more on that later, maybe). on the more serious side, i was diagnosed with a myriad of issues with my reproductive system - mild endometriosis, pcos and pmdd - which left me grappling with an uncertain future for my fertility when i was only 19. my long ignored mental health issues also became increasingly difficult to deal with. i started having frequent and severe panic attacks when i was 21 (although the anxiety has certainly been there since i was a child, but we just put it down to me being shy and an overthinker). for the past year and a half, i've dealt with some fairly bad bouts of depression - that's something i wish i could explain, but it isn't exactly in the past and there's no simple answer for it. and hey, all of these life changes can be expected. even if i tried, i couldn't be the same 17 year old girl from a small town with big dreams that i was in 2012. things became difficult/crazy/strange/different for me - as they do for everyone - and suddenly, i couldn't sit down and write about movies. in fact, i couldn't sit down and let myself write anything that wasn't a university paper for just about four years. i wanted it to be perfect , i wanted to have the hottest take on something, i wanted to understand a film better than anyone else did. but i wasn't capable of that, so i'd stop myself before i even tried to write about xyz film. and then when i started struggling more with my brain, i could put on a film and absolutely not take anything in. that felt horrible, because it wasn't something i was deciding to do myself - i had no control over it. there was a period of time last year where i became extremely ill, which i'm told was potentially because i was having a nervous breakdown of some kind. in that time, i couldn't go to the cinema without feeling so anxious i was extremely nauseous. great, i thought. one of my happiest of places was being taken away by the fact that my brain and my body didn't want to play ball. the first film i was able to see in cinema again was the disaster artist. i initially felt so nauseous i was about to leave, but the film made me laugh so much, and then made me so hopeful, that for a moment i felt like everything was going to be normal again. in terms of me and my movies, of course. so it has been a little strange to read through some of the stuff i previously wrote and be like 'damn, i was actually a good writer'. i never thought much of what i was doing on this blog while i was doing it. i just enjoyed having a space where i could talk about the things that mattered to me, and people who dug that would be around to push the conversation. i didn't really worry about my writing having a 'point', i was just genuinely happy to be able to share my own connection with certain films. the moment when i became too hard on myself about this little passion project seemed to signify that i had completely lost the part of myself that was dedicated to this site, and it was never going to return. i don't think i ever truly lost that part of myself. it was just buried under a tonne of self-loathing, sadness, illness, finding new things to be passionate about, trying to find myself (which has been very difficult for me to learn that this is an on-going process and not something that can be done by reading a few tumblr quotes), and, well, life. so, maybe, if i try this out a little more, we can see how it goes. we can see if i can stop stopping myself from doing things just because i think that they aren't the most perfect, hottest takes on something. i've been explaining this site a lot recently for some reason, and i'm always asked why i stopped, and then i'm told that i should get back into it. if only it were that easy , i tell them. well, i just wrote this waffle in about 45 minutes. the whole 'born to die' album has just ended. i know this isn't going to be the thing that everyone wants to read. but it is here, etched on my little speck of the internet that has content that spans for almost nine years. and i'm going to work on that being enough for me. posted by stevee taylor at 5:28 pm 7 comments: links to this post email this blogthis! share to twitter share to facebook share to pinterest this post was: friday, december 12, 2014 predestination definitely isn't the film you think it is chances are you haven't seen - or maybe even heard of - predestination . i'm not entirely sure when its planned release date is for wider markets, nor am i sure why it was released in new zealand in mid-september, smack bang in the middle of an extreme dry spell at the multiplex. if you want a quick debrief on the film: its touted as a time-travel thriller directed by the spierig brothers (who last directed the equally underseen 2010 vampire flick daybreakers ) and stars man of the moment ethan hawke and breakout star sarah snook. i suggest watching the trailer so it becomes a little clearer as to why this movie is a little different and surprising, as it is the complete opposite to what they're selling. it isn't a new phenomenon to have the trailer ramp up the intensity of the action to draw in the masses, nor is it new to have a trailer totally misrepresent a movie. what happens when a movie is totally unsellable, though? because that's what predestination is - something that can't be easily packaged into an appealing marketing ploy. yes, it's a time travel thriller. but it has more in common with philomena than looper . so take that as you will. for a relatively short 90 minute running time, the film spends the first hour explaining the story of someone who isn't ethan hawke - even though he is marketed as the main star of the film (again, not unusual for marketing to play up a star who has been around since the 90

URL analysis for cinematicparadox.com

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Domain Name: CINEMATICPARADOX.COM
Registry Domain ID: 1753583621_DOMAIN_COM-VRSN
Registrar WHOIS Server: whois.godaddy.com
Registrar URL: http://www.godaddy.com
Updated Date: 2018-10-13T20:18:34Z
Creation Date: 2012-10-20T20:21:42Z
Registry Expiry Date: 2019-10-20T20:21:42Z
Registrar: GoDaddy.com, LLC
Registrar IANA ID: 146
Registrar Abuse Contact Email: [email protected]
Registrar Abuse Contact Phone: 480-624-2505
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Name Server: NS43.DOMAINCONTROL.COM
Name Server: NS44.DOMAINCONTROL.COM
DNSSEC: unsigned
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